How Lee Got His Eyebrows
by dreamwave27
Summary: How did the Beautiful Green Beast of Konoha ever get those abnormal bushy brows of his? Here's MY explanation. Might not be right, but I don't care.


Mombodogfaceinthebananapatch, I'm Tay , if you haven't read my profile. And here is MY explanation of how Rock Lee, the loveable taijutsu dude with annoyingly correct grammar, got his bushy, fuzzy, HUGE eyebrows. MUAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAAA. -cough-

Enjoy.

* * *

"It's a…er…an…IT!" the doctor said.

Rock Vee looked at her newborn baby. She was so happy! If only her husband were here. But…he just HAD to be a butthead and leave her to be a single mom. Oh well, screw him, 'cos Vee hunted him down and stabbed him to death with a banana peel.

"I shall name him Rock Lee!" Rock Vee stated.

Vee held the baby up in front of her. He looked perfect! A round face, large eyes, a perfect nose, 5 fingers on each hand, a nose and…what was this? NO EYEBROWS! Rock Vee gasped.

"GASP!" Rock Vee gasped.

"GASP!" the doctor gasped.

"GASP!" the nurse walking in gasped.

"GASP!" the hobo waltzing through the hallway gasped.

"GASP!" Neji gasped.

"GASP!" the baby gasped.

"LEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Gai screamed, busting down the doors and standing in that…Gai-ish pose. Everyone in the room stared with large eyes at the obviously gay and deranged man.

Suddenly, Tay (ß That's me!) stormed into the room and grabbed Gai by the collar of his…jumpsuit...

"Hahahaha…Gai, what the hell are you doing? You're about…oh, I don't know…6 or 7 hours early…" Tay said sweetly.

"I GOT THROUGH RUSH HOUR!" Gai shouted, pointing a finger upward and placing his hand on his hip like any gay wad would do. The people in the room stared at the two in front of them.

Tay dragged Gai out of the room by the scruff of his shirt and flung him out of a window. Then she walked out, hands in pockets, mumbling something about pancakes and butcher knives.

Rock Vee coughed.

"Doctor, I just so happen to be a super awesome ninja, and I have already healed, so may I go home now?" Rock Vee said.

"Derrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…." the doctor said.

And with that, Rock Vee jumped out of the window and hopped across all the buildings to her squirrel house in the forest.

Vee stared for hours at her new boy. What happened to his eyebrows? she thought.

Lee was currently sitting on his bum staring with his big bug eyes at Vee. (A/N: AWWW! CUTE BABY LEE!)

Then, just as before, Gai busted down the door and screamed, "LEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Vee looked at him like he had two heads. Then she looked at Lee. He was staring at Gai.

Lee clapped his baby hands and gurgled happily. His mother then looked back at Gai. 'Hmm…it seems my baby would like to be like this psychopath! But he needs big, bushy eyebrows to do that…' She thought.

Vee got bored of talking to herself, so she decided to turn on the NINJA TV! And when she turned it on, the news flashed on the screen.

"In other news, the Kazekage's wife has just had a baby! His name has been decided to be Gaara the fuzzy-boogle teddy lover." the reporter announced.

A picture blinked onto the TV of the new baby. He was a little redhead with jade eyes, a nose, ears, some symbol on his forehead - probably drew on himself - , and…HOLY CRAP! HUGE FUZZY EYEBROWS!

The light bulb in Vee's head just flashed on. But then it flickered off.

And on.

And off.

And on.

And off.

And on.

And off.

And a leprechaun skipped into the room holding a sign that said, "Steal his eyebrows".

And Gai kicked the leprechaun out through the roof.

And Neji combed his pretty gay hair.

And Tay held a light bulb above Vee's head.

Vee gasped and the light bulb flashed on in an intensity so bright that Neji was blinded and died.

Then his fangirls all screamed, "NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Suck it up, losers.

So she grabbed all her awesome ninja gear and left the possible mental patient with her newborn baby.

* * *

Vee jumped from roof to roof until she got to the village of the Sand, where she found the Kazekage's house. She was dressed in her super Jounin outfit and was carrying 6 pacifiers, a flamethrower, a can of Lysol (1), and a HUUUUUUUGE roll of masking tape.

She dropped to the window of the Kazekage's house on the second floor. Before entering, she turned around and did a good...girl pose to the entire village. Then she kicked in the window and LEAPED into the room, landing on one foot making a Batman mask with her fingers (2). But then she realized she was in the wrong room as two little babies, one with blonde hair sticking out everywhere and one with paint all over its face, started to whimper. Vee tip-toed over to them and gave them 4 of the pacifiers, 2 each.

Vee walked out of the room to the room next door. She burst through the door, flamethrower in hand, and screamed, "EYEBROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWSSSSS!"

The room was pink and covered with teddy bears of all shapes (weird) and sizes. I don't feel like describing it any further 'cos I suck at that. Moving on. In the middle of the room sat a simple crib with a teddy mobile over it.

Gaara poked his head out of the crib and giggled (A/N: HOLY SHI…CHEEZ-ITS IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD.). Vee lowered her weapon, grinned, and pulled out the masking tape.

Gaara squealed in delight (A/N: -runs about screaming-) as she skipped oddly over to his crib. Vee pulled out a pacifier from her pocket and stuffed it in Gaara's mouth.

Gaara spit it out to the opposite end of the room, clapped and gurgled.

Vee ran over to the opposite side of the room, picked it up, ran back to the crib's side, and stuffed it in his mouth again.

He spit it out again and drooled.

She picked it up and stuffed it in his mouth again.

He spit it out and pooped.

She cringed, picked it up, and stuffed it in his mouth again.

Gaara whined uncomfortably and rolled about, getting poop everywhere.

Vee barfed.

Gaara farted.

Vee took out the Lysol and sprayed it in the crib.

Gaara got knocked out by the Lysol.

Vee's eyes twinkled in joy as she pulled the tape out from behind her back.

* * *

RRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPP!

* * *

Vee sprinted back to her squirrel house in the middle of the forest. Gai was rolling about the floor laughing madly - does he take ecstasy every day! -, as was Rock Lee (A/N: except Lee wasn't laughing. He was gurgling up drool). A ghastly smell was coming out of Lee's diaper. Vee barfed for the 2nd time that day then changed his diaper.

Then, Vee held up a large strip of masking tape. It was covered in eyebrow hair.

She taped the…tape…on Rock Lee's forehead and then stood back, hands on hips, with one of those blinding grins.

* * *

And this is how Rock Lee got his eyebrows.

But shortly afterwards they fell off, so Vee super-glued them back on.

Gaara never did replace his eyebrows. His family thought he looked hideous with them. And besides, Gaara's too Gaara-ish for eyebrows. Hmph.

And then Vee died of a rare eyebrow disease known only to the Rock family and left Rock Lee to Gai. But Gai forgot him in the woods with the squirrels for about…7 years and then remembered he was Lee's guardian so went back to get him. Lee was a hippie until Gai beat some sense into him, then became what he is to this very day.

HAPPY END:D

* * *

(1) - I'm not advertising. I don't even like Lysol. XD It smells really bad.

(2) - You know how you flip your hands upside-down, touch your thumbs to your forefingers together making a circle on each hand, and put your hands up to your eyes? That's the Batman mask. I can't explain it well, so deal with it.

Tay : Okay, I just had to write that. For those people who are confused as to where his eyebrows came from and why Gaara is eyebrow less. And for those who wonder who Lee's Mama was. XD Hooray.

Rock Lee: YOSH! -good guy pose-

Tay : YOSH! -copies Lee-

Gai: LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Rock Lee: GAI-SENSEIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!

Gai: LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Rock Lee: GAI-SENSEIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!

Gai: LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Rock Lee: GAI-SENSEIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!

(insert…special…hugging moment here)

Tay : Reviews would be LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVED very much and will be rewarded with…

BRAND NEW BUSHY EYEBROWS!

DO YOU WANT TO BE LIKE ROCK LEE AND GAI! THEN REVIEW AND GET YOUR VERY OWN EYEBROWS!

Tay : YOSH! And I can SO sue Gaara with this fic.

Gaara: It's not even true. You made it up while listening to This is Halloween.

Tay : …NUH-UH!

Gaara: Yeah.

Tay : NNNNNNNNNNNNUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHH!

Gaara: Yeah.

Tay : NONONONONONONOONONOONOONONONONO! LIES! THEY'RE ALL LIES!

Gaara: Uh, no they aren't.

Tay : I WON'T BELIEVE YOU, RACCOON BOY!

Itachi: Sasuke…I AM YOUR FATHER.

Sasuke: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! THAT'S NOT TRUE! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!

Itachi: Come, join the Dark Side.

Tay : SHOOO! I'm putting up your therapy session later, now GO AWAY, UCHIHA RATS!

Naruto: Where am I during all of this?

Tay : ACK. Just GO AWAY. Golly-gee! Can't ANYONE ever write a fic without you…PESTS bothering them!

Naruto: UEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNN -starts crying-

Rock Lee: YOSH! NARUTO DO NOT GIVE UP!

Kiba: I'm hungry...

Naruto: -runs away-

Tay : Ah, crap.


End file.
